Could give it a go, see if we could be something.
I wish I was your favorite girl.
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world.
I wish my smile was your favorite kind of smile.
I wish the way that I dressed was your favorite kind of style.
I wish you couldn’t figure me out, but you’d always want to know what I was about.
I wish you’d hold my hand when I was upset…
I wish you’d never forget the look on my face when we first met…
~Kate Nash
Today happens to be the start of a terrible week, and I won’t explain why. I just know it’s going to be an emotional one and it’s hard for me to help it. One thing I like about “tumblr” is that even if no one reads this, it still helps me get certain feelings out, and as soon as I do I feel better. I think it’s just the idea that someone MIGHT read this and understand how I’m feeling. With all that being said, I’m sitting here trying to think of when I became so emotionally unstable. I have a feeling it’s because of a certain someone that was such a big part of my life. He broke all of my walls and stole a part of me I don’t think I’ll ever get back, which lead to hurting me and making me feel betrayed. I think he was the only person that accepted my craziness, and because he’s gone, I get too attached to the people that give me attention and that becomes such a problem. I have those obsessive thoughts I’ve mentioned before, worries I shouldn’t have, and just many other factors.
For some reason, I feel the need to mention this. There’s a few things I just don’t like.. Such as being ignored, or when I do something someone doesn’t like and they don’t explain why, people who try to help me when I don’t want their help, when I can’t ever explain something correctly (my thoughts never translate to words properly), having so many thoughts at one time, batteries that run out after 10 seconds of use, lack of motivation, overwhelming female perfume, and being sad.
Oh and when I run out of those Velveeta cups my mom gets from Sam’s.
I wish to feel smaller under your sheets.
I wish for the whole truth every time you speak.
And I’m thinking about how you care half as much for me
While I watch you arrive, smoke cigarette, sleep.
And I guess it doesn’t matter what I say or what I seem.
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans.
Ignoring me the morning after isn’t enough…
And I swear I’m gonna cry, I’m sick of trying to be tough.
~Gregory and the Hawk
