Momentary phase. Just like yesterday, I told you I would stay.
~Grizzly Bear
Thanks to Elle, I just realized how confused I really was. I sit here wondering, “Why is this taking such a long time? I’m perfect. This is perfect. We are perfect.” But she helped me realize how put off he was talking about certain things, things that I find important. Then, I realized I read too far into things. Things that were strictly “friends-only” and I felt were leading else where. I also feel I’m being way too selfish and one-sided. I just feel so anxious for things that I want. I don’t want to be the one who makes the choice… I’m too afraid of rejection.
I just wish I could distance myself from it. Pull away and take back all the feelings I’ve had so he won’t have the satisfaction of knowing how I really feel.
Edit:
Epiphony - It doesn’t take someone long to realize a new person they met is someone they’d like to be more-than-friends with. If that even makes sense to anyone but me… Apart of me wants to take that leap, take that chance and make it happen, but the other half is fighting against that.
I’m lost inside you. Can’t find my way. Trying to deny you, but it’s too late.
~Kanute
