February 2012
3 posts
I always want to talk to you.
I check my phone for your messages very often. When you don’t talk to me, I have the urge to talk to you. But I don’t want you to get bored of me. As selfish as it may sound, I’ll keep my distance because I want you to miss me as much as I miss you.
Sometimes, memories can be nice...
Maybe I shouldn’t try so hard to shut them out all of the time. But this one kind of brought a smile to my face, in a weird way. I asked my boyfriend at the time, (Okay, so I’ve only had one boyfriend, but I hate referring to him as my “ex.” To me, it makes him sound like a terrible person. I never really liked that word…) I asked him what’s the one thing he...
Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I...
It’s the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you. It’s the wrong time for somebody new. It’s a small crime, and I got no excuse. But is that alright with you? I can’t sleep. It’s my dreams again, or maybe they’d be classified as nightmares. It’s interesting how I hate sleeping because it’s the only time I can’t control what I think about,...
January 2012
2 posts
It's 5 o'clock in the morning...
The conversation got boring…
So, it really is 5 in the morning. I got home from work at 11pm. I lied in bed for 6 hours without being able to sleep. I drifted off at one point, but then I woke up because my dreams leave me restless… And more often than not, they’ve given me a reason to cry. Though, this particular dream that I had caused me to wake up and think about...
October 2011
4 posts
Is it wrong for me to wish things secretly go bad and for them to realize what they should’ve in the first place?
But how we move from A to B...
It can’t be up to me, cause you don’t know who I was before you…
Maybe I’m just a little too strange. A little too out there. It makes me wonder a lot of things. But man, every time I look… It’s like I get a little weaker in the knees.
And then there’s a friend you have that feels the same way. Only, she’s not too strange, she’s not too...
September 2011
4 posts
You've got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me When the road looks rough ahead And you’re miles and miles from your nice warm bed Just remember what your old pal said You’ve got a friend in me ~Toy Story
So, I went to my old high school to hang out with the Special Ed class that I used to help teach and aide for. It’s incredible the amount of happiness I get from these kids when they get so...
I'm glad we're not friends anymore. You're a...
This applies to many people.
Feel like a cripple without a cane...
I’m a jack of all trades, but a master of none.
I’ve come to the conclusion that having a crush/love interest is pointless. What’s the use of unrequited feelings? It just leads to more burdens and heartache.
I guess, due to the recent events that have happened in my life, my life has changed for the better. There’s a silver lining to everything. Is it human nature to...
Jonathan...
This boy right here…. I miss him. He has gotten me back into tumblr. Yay! I miss this kid. :( I saw him last night, in fact, and he’s already back to Austin where all the cool kids are. If I could pack up and move away to Austin right now, I most definitely would. And then have lots and lots of fun with him and his buddies, because I sincerely believe they would all take me in with...
July 2011
5 posts
Grab some body sexy, tell em...
HEY!
Basically, I feel like ranting right now. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, got even more grumpy with other things, remembered a really weird dream I had prior to waking up, realized it was raining, was running late for school, and didn’t have enough time to fully study for my stupid govt vocab quiz. Speaking of which, I have to sit in this damn class for over 2 hours. Awesome.
...
Why can't life be like the movies?
I feel a little sad inside. I wish I could just talk to a certain somebody and explain why things happened the way they did…
I want my acting career to take off already. It’s going slow. At least I have my resume put together. If it’s my destiny, it will happen when I’m good and ready. I just feel like I’m ready now.
As for my heart:
It’s telling me I...
Tumblr isn't what I thought it used to be...
It seems like it’s all about the quirky, out there, “I have something deep to say about life with text on a picture,” type of posts and reblogging it these days.
Well, I don’t give a fuck. I haven’t been on here in over a year, and that has a lot to say about me. I’ve grown up. I’ve changed. Though, I still like to vent on here.
Which brings me to my...
November 2010
6 posts
You have to kiss a lot of frogs...
…To find your prince.
You know, I don’t think people could understand the feelings that I possess a lot of the time. Most of the time, they’re too complicated for me to put into words, or they overwhelm me to where I can’t explain them. Of course, I’m sure this is just my way of over-complicating things and being dramatic, but it is true.
I finally met...
Interesting
I didn’t change a damn thing. Let me reference an old post for a second ( http://rachylmcdowell.tumblr.com/post/1263263496/its-officially-time-for-a-change ) and point out how I didn’t go with the positive at all. I still only seem to talk about the negative; I guess because I feel like the positive isn’t worth discussing. I usually have a lot going on in my head, and by the time...
My thoughts are poisoned.
All I think about is who I’ve been compared to. Someone of model status.
Is that even fair? We are two completely different people. Yes, she’s been blessed with a perfect body and a perfectly structured face… But why compare me to her? It’s all I can think about.
I don’t understand how you can sit there and say you like me, say you like certain features that I...
October 2010
9 posts
Is there anyway I can make it up to you? Is there anything I can do to convince you to go back to what we were starting? Does anyone have some advice?
For once..
Juuuuust once, do you think you could put yourself in my shoes? See how I feel for a change? And to think I always let myself feel like an obsessed, crazy person…There’s so much more I wish I could say, but alas, it’s time to let go. All I want is for someone to understand the things that go on in my head.
A Journey to the Right State of Mind
I decided I finally needed a break from my essay. I felt the need for nicotine creeping up on me, but I was out of cigarettes. So I drove to the store, picked up my favorite pack, bought a new cigarette case with pretty blue rhinestones on the front, and sat in the parking lot in my car and contemplated where I was headed next while packing my cigarettes to death. I decided a drive to nowhere was...
I had the most insane dreams
So vivid. So odd.
I wonder where they come from and what they mean?
Tweet
I kind of want to start a photo blog… I keep telling myself that I want to start shooting more and I never do. I suck.
Oh and I caved and made a twitter so I can obsess over what celebs are doing with their lives. Hoorah.
Www.twitter.com/limblesspuppy
It's officially time for a change!
Fall is here! My favorite season of all time.
I almost want to start this entire tumblr over and delete all of my old posts… But I’ve come to the realization that they’ve helped me grow and learn as a person (as depressive and crazy as they might be…) so I’ve deciddd to keep them. Look back and see how much I’ve grown as a human being. But from here on out,...
September 2010
1 post
August 2010
2 posts
I wish that we...
Could give it a go, see if we could be something. I wish I was your favorite girl. I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world. I wish my smile was your favorite kind of smile. I wish the way that I dressed was your favorite kind of style. I wish you couldn’t figure me out, but you’d always want to know what I was about. I wish you’d hold my hand when I was...
July 2010
2 posts
I'm lost inside you, can't find my way...
Trying to deny you, but it’s too late. It’s late enough that you might be sleeping. Well, I’m awake hoping you dreamin’ me. I know that it’s wrong, shouldn’t let it carry on… I’m just not that strong… ~Kanute
I’ve gotten a lot more sleep than normal the past two days. I still have bad dreams, though. I really wonder what sparks...
Well nobody likes to but I really like to cry
And nobody likes me… Maybe, if I cry… ~Tegan and Sara
I feel myself falling into something like a depression. I can’t find a way to make myself happy, I obsess over my thoughts and the smallest things, and I obsess over other people’s thoughts and feelings about me. It comes out of no where as well. I’ll be just fine and then I’ll be sad. I get overwhelmed with emotion, too. I’m not exactly...
May 2010
1 post
April 2010
4 posts
Does everything really happen for a reason?
I keep thinking, if it’s supposed to work out it will… I passed up something great to have something shitty. The more I see what I passed up, the more regrets I have every damn minute. I’m not sure what to do about it.
Aside from that, I’ve just been so irritated lately. Every little thing that people do, I get so agitated. Especially if it’s not done the way I...
Every day is another chance to bury my regret...
Every day is another chance to make it, but I can’t, but I can’t, but I can’t. ~William Fitzsimmons
You know, I just realized how all of my posts are generally the same, just on different days. I complain a lot about love and lost hope and all of that bullshit, but I’m young. I’m eighteen. Why am I so wrapped up in finding a lover? I’ll be in college for at...
Looks like
We’re staying in the friend zone.
Things would’ve picked up by now. And I know he just wants a friend, and I definitely want to be that friend… But it’s still disappointing. I got my hopes up only to come to a hard realization. But that’s okay. I’m not to hurt by it, surprisingly.
Gotta keep looking, though!
We laugh until we think we’ll die,...
March 2010
14 posts
Think of all the ways...
Momentary phase. Just like yesterday, I told you I would stay. ~Grizzly Bear
Thanks to Elle, I just realized how confused I really was. I sit here wondering, “Why is this taking such a long time? I’m perfect. This is perfect. We are perfect.” But she helped me realize how put off he was talking about certain things, things that I find important. Then, I realized I read too far...
So many foreign worlds (So relatively fucked)
So ready for us, so ready for us, the creature fear. -Bon Iver
I’m feeling very down today. It’s just one of those days. I’m going to start getting my act in gear. I’m trying to hunt for a better job so I can start paying for my own things. I’m going to start slow though, get in the habit of paying the monthly bill of my car insurance, and then when I feel...
This is for my thespian family...
I finally finished the lyrics to my version of “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.” It’s about “The Diary of Anne Frank” which is the play we’re performing in. We advanced to district. Yay us! :)
Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you why I wrote my diary in...
And I wish
HE would follow my tumblr.
But wishes only come true sometimes.. At least tonight I can go to sleep happy.
